so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
