he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
