I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
