Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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