So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize