Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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