I just threw up on my dentist
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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