Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
