she was so not down for the gang bang
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
