I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Someone shattered a urinal.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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