The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize