so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
