He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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