you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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