Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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