No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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