he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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