One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She told me I should be a condom model.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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