blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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