By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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