I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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