I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
