We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
