I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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