Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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