She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
