I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
