this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
