absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize