You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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