Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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