I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
