i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
