singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
