did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Randomize
