Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
are you so shy because you have an std?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
