She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
