Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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