is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
