I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
