i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
