Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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