Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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