Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize