She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
