We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize