just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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