The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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