Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize