was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
