I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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