Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
