good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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