ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
