you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
