You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
