Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
This can only be settled by a dance off.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
