This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
