he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
40s are totally the cure
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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