Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
The power of my boobs compel you
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
