My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
