Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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