he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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