my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
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