I'm so fucking centered right now
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
