WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize