please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
